How to make a Victorian wristwarmer

1. Do the very fiddly beaded-cast-on of 108 stitches. With seed beads. And laceweight yarn. Onto double-pointed needles. Oy.
2. Realize, after 36 stitches of the first round, that you’re doing it wrong. Pull back, cast on those 36 stitches again, start over.
3. Realize, after four rounds, that it looks really crappy. Decide to do it on straight needles. Pull the whole thing apart.
4. After stringing the beads onto the laceweight, start the very fiddly beaded-cast-on again. Suddenly realize that there are beads gaily bouncing all over the place. Discover a break in the yarn that you somehow didn’t notice while you were stringing the beads.
5. Collect beads from all over the daggone place. Check the yarn very carefully, string the beads onto yarn that definitely does not have a break in it, start the very fiddly beaded-cast-on yet again, on straight needles this time. (Note: first five steps should be sprinkled liberally with words that you would never ever say in front of your children, followed by guilty glances around the room to make sure the children didn’t sneak in while you were swearing.)
6. Count cast-on stitches twice, get a total of 108 both times. Start knitting with confidence.
7. At end of first row, note that there seem to be 109 stitches. Don’t care. Knit the last two together. That should be 108, right?
8. At end of next row, note that there seem to be 107 stitches. Don’t care. Increase one stitch in the last section. There, that should be 108.
9. Halfway through next row, realize that you’re off-pattern by one stitch. Must have been all that decreasing and increasing. Count stitches; there are 108. Okay, get yourself back on pattern, try to ignore part where you were off. Definitely don’t swear, as the children are in the room now.
10. Succeed in ignoring slightly interesting take on pattern in first couple of rows; the yarn is fuzzy, it hides mistakes beautifully.
11. Somehow complete wristwarmer with no further foolishness.

One Mrs. Beeton completed! Now…I just have to do it again. No, don’t try to talk me out of it; I’m on a deadline here. Maybe I could skip the first 10 steps this time, though…